Onward, Upward, Time to Heal and Travel

 Last week, I had my last chemo treatment. I started treatment in May 2022 and had anticipated to be completed chemo in late August, but chemo loves to throw curveballs.  I had allergic reactions which caused delays as well as one infection of neutropenia. Thankfully, I had no hospital admissions this time around and I was fortunate to enjoy some of the summer with downtime. The last few treatments hit me very hard with severe nausea, vomiting, and weakness. My body may never be the same and it's been left with many scars but I'm alive and hopefully cancer free for now.

This time around has been harder than I ever imagined though. I've lost touch with a lot friends and family and that is a hard part of this illness. It’s just how this beast works.  Three plus years of practically being isolated has that effect.  I’ve fortunately got a great little group of friends that I adore and look forward to seeing soon once this silly immune system kicks in gear! I also can’t wait for the next golf season to get out with dear friends! Family always seems to find it's way back :-) 

We have three amazing daughters that have all stepped up to the massive plate and have been there for their family during the most difficult of times.  They are learning some tough life lessons during the process, how important family is and who is there for them in the rough times. Valuable lessons that they will carry through life.

My husband has weathered this storm with me - I have not been easy. I have been angry, sad, and frustrated throughout this recurrence and he continues to be by my side, supporting and encouraging me on the days when I’ve wanted to quit. We are an incredibly strong couple and nothing will break us.

My parents can finally breathe a sigh of relief and I hope they get to do a little traveling to enjoy some of this fall. They've dedicated their days to helping me and making sure we have the help we need. 

We are forever grateful for our family, it hasn’t been easy for anyone.

I've made a list of my things I want to do and get done. Everything from cleaning out closets to learning to cook new dishes to getting back to exercising! We have a couple of trips planned as well and hope to make more plans soon! Slowly but surely we'll get back on track and it will all be ok.

I share this to open communication, to help others who may be struggling too. It’s ok to not be ok through this stuff. You have to have bad days, it’s ok to complain, we are not perfect but that doesn’t make us failures, it makes us real. Be real.

Thank you all for supporting us through this chapter, we're gladly closing out this one.

Here we go again

 As I sit here on the eve of my return to chemotherapy, about to take my medication to help ease any reaction to my regime, my gut instinct tells me to run away, as fast as I can. The flight is winning out over the fight for several moments today.  It's ok, I will arrive at my appointment tomorrow with a nervous smile, anxious but I'll be there and I'll bring the fight with me that day forward. I will do everything in my power to ensure I am on this earth for as long as I can.  Life is not something I have ever taken for granted.

Having to put my family and friends through this again weighs hard on me. I don't like bringing out sadness in others, I don't like living in a bubble, and having my family have to be worried about me. This is what I hate most about cancer is what it does do families. Something one does not learn until they become a part of it.

We will get through this, we will prevail, we will move along step by step and be thankful for the good moments and memories we get to make along the way. 

Thank you for supporting us, we appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts. 

Steroids, crackers, water, whales and a sweet note from Ava