Finding my way

Once you’ve been through hell, it takes time to get yourself back on track. I’ve been in another zone since my ovarian cancer returned in winter of 2022, I call it my battle zone. Everything seems a bit blurry at first, and you continue through life stumbling from medical appointment to medical appointment. When you come out through the process you may feel like you’ve been through a boxing fight, you’ve been up and down a few times and left with scars, aches, and pains all over. It’s a road that unless you’ve been on it or cared for someone through it, there’s no way to comprehend.

I paint a fairly sad picture of this journey, but it isn’t all bad. I learned to live life with less concern about what others think, I'm more focussed on my family and close friends; what is most important. I’m more grateful for each day.  The love in our family and strength has prospered.  We had good times throughout the process, often laughing and making the best of little moments.  

 

As I look toward the future I have hope, hope for time and memories.  Living each day with integrity and passion is my goal.  Creating lasting good memories to cherish is good enough for me.

For the next little while, I will continue to stumble here and there, until I get myself stronger. When you are at the end of cancer treatment, there is much healing to do and managing of emotions of the next part of this journey.

The focus will be on healing, something I didn’t take time 3 years ago when I was first diagnosed.  I tried jumping back into my old life and my body quickly informed me that wasn’t a good idea. Within 2 months of finishing treatment, I was hit with a nasty case of shingles, frozen shoulder, joint issues. This process will be slower. I highly recommend if you are nearing the end of your treatment to take some time for you and allow your body to heal before jumping on the next train or plane.

 

I wish you happy healing and strength.

 

 

 

 

 

Onward, Upward, Time to Heal and Travel

 Last week, I had my last chemo treatment. I started treatment in May 2022 and had anticipated to be completed chemo in late August, but chemo loves to throw curveballs.  I had allergic reactions which caused delays as well as one infection of neutropenia. Thankfully, I had no hospital admissions this time around and I was fortunate to enjoy some of the summer with downtime. The last few treatments hit me very hard with severe nausea, vomiting, and weakness. My body may never be the same and it's been left with many scars but I'm alive and hopefully cancer free for now.

This time around has been harder than I ever imagined though. I've lost touch with a lot friends and family and that is a hard part of this illness. It’s just how this beast works.  Three plus years of practically being isolated has that effect.  I’ve fortunately got a great little group of friends that I adore and look forward to seeing soon once this silly immune system kicks in gear! I also can’t wait for the next golf season to get out with dear friends! Family always seems to find it's way back :-) 

We have three amazing daughters that have all stepped up to the massive plate and have been there for their family during the most difficult of times.  They are learning some tough life lessons during the process, how important family is and who is there for them in the rough times. Valuable lessons that they will carry through life.

My husband has weathered this storm with me - I have not been easy. I have been angry, sad, and frustrated throughout this recurrence and he continues to be by my side, supporting and encouraging me on the days when I’ve wanted to quit. We are an incredibly strong couple and nothing will break us.

My parents can finally breathe a sigh of relief and I hope they get to do a little traveling to enjoy some of this fall. They've dedicated their days to helping me and making sure we have the help we need. 

We are forever grateful for our family, it hasn’t been easy for anyone.

I've made a list of my things I want to do and get done. Everything from cleaning out closets to learning to cook new dishes to getting back to exercising! We have a couple of trips planned as well and hope to make more plans soon! Slowly but surely we'll get back on track and it will all be ok.

I share this to open communication, to help others who may be struggling too. It’s ok to not be ok through this stuff. You have to have bad days, it’s ok to complain, we are not perfect but that doesn’t make us failures, it makes us real. Be real.

Thank you all for supporting us through this chapter, we're gladly closing out this one.