Finding My Place at the Research Table: Reflections from CCOCR

Our Patient Partner Team that could attend CCOCR

Recently, I had the privilege of attending CCOCR, the Canadian Conference on Ovarian Cancer Research, in Vancouver as a patient partner.

CCOCR brings together researchers, clinicians, trainees, advocates, and patient partners from across Canada and beyond to share knowledge, discuss emerging research, and collaborate on improving outcomes for those affected by ovarian cancer.

The experience was filled with emotion, learning, meaningful connections, and more than a few tears. There were moments of hope, moments of heartbreak, and many reminders of why this work matters. There is something incredibly powerful about being in a room with people who are united by a common goal of improving the future for those diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

Seeing friends and fellow patient partners share their personal ovarian cancer stories brought both pride and emotion. Our patient partner community shares a connection that is difficult to put into words. While our experiences may differ, there is an understanding between us that only comes from walking a similar path.

Many people ask what a patient partner actually does. Through my volunteer role with Ovarian Cancer Canada's Patient Partner in Research (PPIR) program, I work alongside researchers to bring the patient perspective into the research process. This can include reviewing research proposals and lay summaries, providing feedback on study design, participating in research projects from start to finish, serving on advisory committees, and helping ensure that the priorities and experiences of patients are reflected in the work being done.

As someone without a scientific background, I continue to learn with every opportunity like this. At times, the science can feel overwhelming, but each experience reinforces that lived experience has a place at the research table. While researchers bring expertise and evidence, patient partners bring perspectives that can help shape research in meaningful and practical ways.

What stays with me most are the conversations, the stories shared, and the connections made with people who truly understand the impact ovarian cancer has on patients and their families.

I left feeling inspired, hopeful, and grateful for the opportunity to contribute. I also left with a renewed sense of responsibility. Every time I share my experience, I do so not only for myself, but for others who may not yet have the opportunity or confidence to share theirs. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help raise awareness, encourage conversations, and remind others of the importance of listening to and learning from patient voices.

Lived experience matters, and I am grateful to have the opportunity to share mine.

Finding Steady Ground in Seasons of Change

“We all have seasons of change — what matters is that we keep finding our way forward.”

Carrying a little extra stress lately — nothing earth-shattering, just the kind that creeps up when life gets busy and your heart is stretched in different directions.

Our oldest daughter recently moved out west. I’m so proud of the amazing woman she’s become, but we miss her deeply. Our middle daughter is backpacking across Europe — another incredible adventure and another test for this mom’s nerves. As our children get older, the stakes feel higher, and I’m learning (slowly) to manage the worry that comes with letting go.

Thankfully, our youngest is still at home — a whirlwind of energy and activity. She’s taken up competitive volleyball, and while it’s exciting to see her push herself, it’s also hard watching her navigate the ups and downs of fitting in and finding her place.

This week brings its own challenges — one is meeting my new oncologist for my first six-month follow-up since my recurrence in 2022. Change is hard, these appointments are hard. My former doctor helped save my life...twice, and now I’ll be sitting across from someone new, someone I don’t yet know or trust.

I’m grateful to have care, but these appointments always stir up more than just medical details. They remind me that while we’ve survived so much, the weight of it never fully disappears — it just shifts.

Even with all the change and uncertainty, I remind myself how far I’ve come. My daughters are building beautiful lives, partly because they’ve watched me fight for mine. And that gives me hope that we’ll all keep finding our way forward.

Here’s to another day lived and loved. 💚

Finding My Place and My People

I’ve just returned from our Ovarian Cancer Canada retreat as a Patient Partner in Research—and I’m still trying to fully capture what this amazing experience meant to me.

Over the course of two days, a group of us gathered in person after months of connecting virtually. We came from across Canada, each bringing not just our suitcases, but our stories, our energy, and our shared experiences as people living with or affected by ovarian cancer.

This retreat marked the first time I had the chance to meet most of these incredible women in person. We’ve seen each other in countless Zoom squares and collaborated through research initiatives—but being face-to-face changed everything. There’s something profoundly powerful about being in a room with people who just get it. We laughed, we cried, we learned, we listened—and yes, we danced.

Despite our shared diagnosis, what struck me most was how beautifully unique everyone is. Our paths, personalities, and perspectives are all so different, and yet we’re united by something deeper and unspoken. It was moving, humbling, and unforgettable.

Leading up to the retreat, I was excited to attend—but also nervous. I couldn’t wait to finally give real hugs to these familiar faces. But I was also anxious: What if I didn’t quite fit in? What if my story didn’t measure up? The thought of presenting my story felt vulnerable—and emotionally nerve-wracking. As confident as I usually am, sharing my personal journey with a room full of people I deeply admire made me a little shaky.

But as time passed with this great group, those fears began to melt away. I was met with warmth, openness, and an immediate sense of belonging. I was reminded—again—that there is so much strength in shared experience, and so much power in showing up exactly as we are.

I’m incredibly grateful to be part of the Patient Partners in Research group, and even more grateful for the generous, welcoming women who’ve made space for me to grow and find my place here. This retreat reminded me that while we may come from different corners of the country and walk different paths, we are not alone.

I’m carrying this experience with me—closer to my heart than I can fully explain—and I know it’s just the beginning of something deeply meaningful in my journey. 

I’m more committed than ever to using my voice, my story, and my heart to help shape a future where no one faces ovarian cancer alone.

2024 Reflections

We often move through life, day by day, letting time pass without fully pausing to embrace the present. Between busy work schedules and the demands of home life, it’s easy to get caught up in the routine and forget how truly fortunate we are.

As I reflect on the past year, I’m reminded of just how lucky I am to have navigated another year of life, surrounded by love and filled with precious memories.

For me, this time of year has become particularly difficult. In January 2019, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Then, in January 2022, I faced a recurrence. This time of year, inevitably, brings with it a bit of extra worry. After my last recurrence, I was told to expect my cancer to return more quickly and with greater intensity. Studies have shown that this is often the pattern, and many of my fellow cancer friends have had similar experiences.

Despite this, I carry hope. I focus on staying healthy and work hard to keep the fear at bay. I keep myself busy, surrounded by my family and friends, and make an effort to fully live my life in the moments I have. Though I bear a heavy load, I’ve learned to carry it well over the years. Yes, there are tough days, but they’re far fewer now than they were in the early stages of my diagnosis.

I know I’m not alone - many of us face challenges, some visible and others hidden. Balancing life, managing worries, and coping with our realities is a daily task. One day at a time has become my method of survival.

Acknowledging my struggles doesn’t make me weaker or stronger—it simply makes me human.

 

Even amid the difficulties, I’ve been fortunate to experience so many beautiful moments over the past year. Some of the highlights I’m most grateful for include:

• Watching my oldest daughter graduate from university with honors.
• Celebrating a BIG 49th birthday with many friends and family!
  
• Celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. 
• Celebrating my parents’ milestone 75th birthdays. 
• Traveling to Mexico with dear friends. 
• Visiting Alberta with my three daughters to spend time with beloved cousins. 
• Attending a concert with my mom, sister-in-law, and daughters. 
• Celebrating with all 12 of my dad’s siblings. 
• Golfing a lot, so many fun, memorable rounds.
• Coaching basketball again, grateful for the opportunity!
• Enjoying vacations in Prince Edward Island and New Brunswick
• Receiving clear CT scans and good CA125 results in 2024.

These moments serve as a reminder that even in the face of uncertainty, life is full of joy, love, and blessings.

As I continue on this journey, I remain grateful for the support of my family, friends, and medical team. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I do know that I’ll keep moving forward—one day at a time, embracing both the struggles and the triumphs, always holding on to hope.

 

Happy New Year! May this year bring you all good health and happiness!

Ovarian Cancer Awareness

 

Today marks National Ovarian Cancer Awareness Day , I will continue to spread awareness among our communities and offering hope. My journey with ovarian cancer has been defined by a commitment to transparency, fueled by a desire to support others and provide hope.

In January 2019, I went to my doctor with concerns of persistent right side pelvic pain for a few weeks, extreme fatigued for months. Thankfully, my MD ordered an urgent ultrasound. Soon after, I was urgently referred to a specialist and tumor maker blood work (CA125) was ordered.  Two months later, I went into the operating room for a hysterectomy and oophorectomy, and I received the shocking news of a Stage 3 ovarian cancer diagnosis in the recovery room. The weight of the diagnosis was heavy, causing fear and uncertainty over what lay ahead.

Amazingly five years have passed, marked by countless chemotherapy sessions, two major surgeries, and myriad challenges along the way. Yet, against all odds, I stand here today, with a strength I never knew I possessed. My journey serves as a testament to the power of hope and the invincible spirit of the human heart.

To all who have walked alongside me on this journey, I extend my deepest gratitude. Your unwavering belief in me and your efforts to raise awareness of ovarian cancer have been a source of strength and inspiration. Together, let us continue to continue the conversation surrounding cancer, breaking down barriers and dispelling the stigma associated with discussing health and well-being. It's okay to acknowledge our struggles, and it's okay to seek support when we need it most.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share my story. I am forever humbled by your kindness and compassion.

For those experiencing symptoms, I urge you to prioritize your health and advocate for thorough testing. Speak up and communicate your concerns to healthcare providers, remaining vigilant of any changes in your body. While I was fortunate to have a proactive family doctor, the unfortunate reality remains that ovarian cancer often evades detection until it reaches an advanced stage. Early detection is paramount in the fight against this disease.

Symptoms of ovarian cancer:

• Abdominal or Pelvic Pain
• Bloating
• Difficulty Eating or Feeling Full Quickly
• Urinary Symptoms (urgency, frequency, pain)
• Changes in Bowel Habits
• Fatigue
• Unexplained Weight Loss or Gain
• Changes in Menstrual Cycle
  

 

Remember, if you experience any of these symptoms persistently, it's important to consult with a healthcare provider for further evaluation. Early detection can make a significant difference in treatment outcomes for ovarian cancer. More info here https://ovariancanada.org/detection

A few pictures from this journey, certainly some low and high points along the way. But forever grateful for my time with my dearest family and friends.

Wrapping Up 2023

With Christmas just days away and a new year just around the corner I thought I'd write a little post to keep things updated on our family's journey. Time really flies when you're having fun! Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year, I love it all, minus the commercialization of the season. We can all get caught up in it. 

The absence of 'Santa' believers in our home marks a new chapter. However, it's a reminder that the essence of Christmas goes beyond the tangible. It's about creating lasting memories, appreciating the journey we've traveled, and embracing the present.

This year holds a special significance for our entire family, especially considering the uncertainties surrounding health. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to savor the season in good health, a precious gift that I do not take lightly. It's a reminder to cherish each day and find joy in the simple moments, knowing that life is a precious gift.

As our two daughters return home for Christmas, it's a welcome pause from the busyness of life. Lauren will be graduating from her English honours degree this spring and Hannah will be completing her 3rd year of nursing. Their ability to balance education and part-time jobs reflects not only their work ethic but also their commitment to making a positive impact on the world. 

Our youngest, Ava, in her seventh grade, is experiencing some normalcy after years of navigating my health challenges at home and pandemic life. Her resilience and bravery through it all are commendable, and we're grateful that this Christmas, she can revel in the joy of being a carefree kid again. She's enjoying playing ringette and basketball for now and I'm lucky enough to get to coach her basketball team.I'm so proud of all 3 daughters!

Returning to work this fall was a decision with some complexity, considering the uncertainties that lie ahead. However, getting to work alongside my husband and seeing patients again, has been a source of joy and purpose. Despite the mental exhaustion and the rough weeks, I'm grateful for the chance to live life on my terms and savor each moment.

Behind every step I take, Sheldon stands as my biggest supporter—his unwavering strength and love push us forward on the rough days. I am blessed to journey through life with such an incredible partner.

As the year draws to a close, I am filled with gratitude for the moments of joy, the lessons learned, and the unwavering support from family and friends. The holiday season serves as a reminder to focus on the intangible gifts of love, resilience, and togetherness—a reminder that, in the face of life's uncertainties, the magic of Christmas resides in the simple yet profound moments shared with those we hold dear. 

Wishing you all a magical and meaningful holiday season!

 

A little update

Life in our household is slowly returning to a sense of normalcy, or as close to it as possible. We've had some minor bumps along the way, but we're managing things now and looking forward to better times ahead. In the coming months, I'm hoping to return to part-time work, which has been a difficult decision.  

 

Our girls are doing well, with the two oldest finishing up their semesters at university and applying for summer jobs. They were lucky enough to find jobs they loved last year, so we're hopeful for them this year. Our youngest is enjoying her new school and has been keeping us entertained as usual. She recently finished up ringette and badminton for the season and is now trying tennis.

 

This year, I've had the opportunity to coach basketball and badminton, both of which have been rewarding experiences. Coaching basketball was especially fun, and we had a great team of girls. Coaching badminton was an adventure, as I hadn't played in 30 years! The girls worked hard and showed so much improvement. Coaching is truly fulfilling when you have a great group of athletes.

 

As always, my husband is the rock of our family. He's been working long hours, with no end in sight, but we're hoping to take some time off in the spring. Unfortunately, we had to cancel our Hawaii vacation again this year due to my health, but we're okay with staying closer to home for now. After all, it's not where you go, but who you go with that truly matters.  We did getaway on a lovely vacation to Florida shortly after Christmas and it was amazing. We will certainly cherish the many memories from our adventures.

 

Each day brings hope and love, and we're grateful for every moment. Remember to take time to enjoy the little things, cherish your loved ones, and live life to the fullest.

Our Precious Family on Vacation in Florida

 

 

 

Holidays are on their way

The Christmas season is ramping up and while the time leading up to it, is not my favourite, I absolutely love Christmas. This year is more difficult, when I think of the dear friends lost and the trials we’ve faced. I’m going to dig deep to embrace the season and make the most of what we have been blessed with. There is always something to be thankful for.

I've been enjoying not having chemo the last couple of months.  I've recently started my oral maintenance drug called Niraparib. It's a PARP inhibitor that is supposed to help keep the cancer at bay. We are hoping it does its job. We know my cancer is not curable but hopeful to manage it as long as possible.   The drug has a long list of side effects much like chemotherapy but less severe. My immune system will be weakened again which isn't fun, but we will be cautious. Over the last week, side effects have kicked in and I’m reminded about how much I dislike nausea and vomiting. We will weigh the pros and cons of this drug over the next couple of weeks.

We are looking forward to getting our girls home under one roof for Christmas and enjoying time with some family and friends.  Exams are just around the corner for our 2 oldest and they are doing well at university and we are so proud of them. Our youngest is growing up too quickly She’s enjoying her new school and doing very well. She’s loving ringette and has started basketball. She’s missed some school and sports due to sickness, so we are hoping she’s passed most of that.

My husband is busy working and juggling a lot of extra, but as always manages smoothly. He’s taking a good break over the holidays with us. We are all happy about that. I’m beginning to figure out what is next for me. Once I’m healed and managing well with this new treatment, I will be heading back to some form of work. Not sure where or when this will happen, but hopeful something will work out.  Another adventure awaits. For now, we will enjoy the season and be forever grateful for our life we have.

To all who are struggling through this season, I send my sincere love to you. I hope we can all find our way to embrace the happy moments and be thankful for them.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

2021

 

 

 

I'm not the only one

I'm not the only one affected by my cancer and that might be the most upsetting part of this disease. While I endure the drain of treatment and side effects, my family is right there with me each step. 

My husband worked throughout the process and did attempt to cutback his schedule. As a family physician running your own practice, this is quite difficult to do. Being a self-employed family it's a necessity to continue to work, we don't get paid vacation or sick time. He balanced things well but I know it was rough. Going to a workplace where everyone's life carries on normally and patients come to complain about their sometimes mild ailments, while your wife is struggling to manage each day, is quite a juggle.  If he had his choice, he would have been at home helping me daily but I feel it was best that he was able to get away from the sick house life. He cared for me on his down days and evenings, I was not easy but he helped me every step of the way. It was a heavy burden to carry.

Our two oldest were both very supportive but both working and school kept them busy. They checked in daily and came to our rescue during times when we needed them for late night ER visits, helping with our youngest, or driving me to appointments. They avoided high risk places to ensure my safety. They had to make sacrifices for my safety and I'm sure it wasn't fun missing out. I know they worry about me and the future. I know they realize the seriousness of the illness. I wish they didn't have to.

Our youngest, has missed out on a lot. She had to change schools in the spring, due to no safety supports at her previous school. She continues to mask daily, while 99% of her school no longer does. She's had a small handful of play dates over the last 8 months through no fault of anyone. It's just the life we've lived with caution of COVID and any illness. I hate that she has had to miss out to protect her Mom, it brings a lot of emotion every time I think about it. I worry about how it has affected her. I know she has learned so much in the process but the losses break my heart.  

I am hopeful that we can all return to a somewhat new normal even while being cautious. I hope my girls can enjoy life without worrying about their Mom daily. I hope our youngest can get back to hanging out with her friends and enjoying sleepovers.  I hope my husband can enjoy going to work and not carrying any guilt of leaving his sick wife at home.

I will regain my strength and give back to this world the way I intend to. So many others need help and support. Life is heavy for many. Our time is precious and we can all help by giving of our time and support when and where we can. 

 

Our Family 2019

Finding my way

Once you’ve been through hell, it takes time to get yourself back on track. I’ve been in another zone since my ovarian cancer returned in winter of 2022, I call it my battle zone. Everything seems a bit blurry at first, and you continue through life stumbling from medical appointment to medical appointment. When you come out through the process you may feel like you’ve been through a boxing fight, you’ve been up and down a few times and left with scars, aches, and pains all over. It’s a road that unless you’ve been on it or cared for someone through it, there’s no way to comprehend.

I paint a fairly sad picture of this journey, but it isn’t all bad. I learned to live life with less concern about what others think, I'm more focussed on my family and close friends; what is most important. I’m more grateful for each day.  The love in our family and strength has prospered.  We had good times throughout the process, often laughing and making the best of little moments.  

 

As I look toward the future I have hope, hope for time and memories.  Living each day with integrity and passion is my goal.  Creating lasting good memories to cherish is good enough for me.

For the next little while, I will continue to stumble here and there, until I get myself stronger. When you are at the end of cancer treatment, there is much healing to do and managing of emotions of the next part of this journey.

The focus will be on healing, something I didn’t take time 3 years ago when I was first diagnosed.  I tried jumping back into my old life and my body quickly informed me that wasn’t a good idea. Within 2 months of finishing treatment, I was hit with a nasty case of shingles, frozen shoulder, joint issues. This process will be slower. I highly recommend if you are nearing the end of your treatment to take some time for you and allow your body to heal before jumping on the next train or plane.

 

I wish you happy healing and strength.

 

 

 

 

 

Onward, Upward, Time to Heal and Travel

 Last week, I had my last chemo treatment. I started treatment in May 2022 and had anticipated to be completed chemo in late August, but chemo loves to throw curveballs.  I had allergic reactions which caused delays as well as one infection of neutropenia. Thankfully, I had no hospital admissions this time around and I was fortunate to enjoy some of the summer with downtime. The last few treatments hit me very hard with severe nausea, vomiting, and weakness. My body may never be the same and it's been left with many scars but I'm alive and hopefully cancer free for now.

This time around has been harder than I ever imagined though. I've lost touch with a lot friends and family and that is a hard part of this illness. It’s just how this beast works.  Three plus years of practically being isolated has that effect.  I’ve fortunately got a great little group of friends that I adore and look forward to seeing soon once this silly immune system kicks in gear! I also can’t wait for the next golf season to get out with dear friends! Family always seems to find it's way back :-) 

We have three amazing daughters that have all stepped up to the massive plate and have been there for their family during the most difficult of times.  They are learning some tough life lessons during the process, how important family is and who is there for them in the rough times. Valuable lessons that they will carry through life.

My husband has weathered this storm with me - I have not been easy. I have been angry, sad, and frustrated throughout this recurrence and he continues to be by my side, supporting and encouraging me on the days when I’ve wanted to quit. We are an incredibly strong couple and nothing will break us.

My parents can finally breathe a sigh of relief and I hope they get to do a little traveling to enjoy some of this fall. They've dedicated their days to helping me and making sure we have the help we need. 

We are forever grateful for our family, it hasn’t been easy for anyone.

I've made a list of my things I want to do and get done. Everything from cleaning out closets to learning to cook new dishes to getting back to exercising! We have a couple of trips planned as well and hope to make more plans soon! Slowly but surely we'll get back on track and it will all be ok.

I share this to open communication, to help others who may be struggling too. It’s ok to not be ok through this stuff. You have to have bad days, it’s ok to complain, we are not perfect but that doesn’t make us failures, it makes us real. Be real.

Thank you all for supporting us through this chapter, we're gladly closing out this one.

Here we go again

 As I sit here on the eve of my return to chemotherapy, about to take my medication to help ease any reaction to my regime, my gut instinct tells me to run away, as fast as I can. The flight is winning out over the fight for several moments today.  It's ok, I will arrive at my appointment tomorrow with a nervous smile, anxious but I'll be there and I'll bring the fight with me that day forward. I will do everything in my power to ensure I am on this earth for as long as I can.  Life is not something I have ever taken for granted.

Having to put my family and friends through this again weighs hard on me. I don't like bringing out sadness in others, I don't like living in a bubble, and having my family have to be worried about me. This is what I hate most about cancer is what it does do families. Something one does not learn until they become a part of it.

We will get through this, we will prevail, we will move along step by step and be thankful for the good moments and memories we get to make along the way. 

Thank you for supporting us, we appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts. 

Steroids, crackers, water, whales and a sweet note from Ava

Ovarian Cancer Recurrence

Recurrence is common in many cancers, and unfortunately very common in advanced stage ovarian cancer.  I knew I would face this again but had hoped it would be many years from now. Here we are, 3 years after surgery (2.5 yrs after treatment) facing this beast again. Ovarian cancer recurrence means this cancer is incurable, I will continue to get treatment for the rest of my time. Thankful for medicine and research 🔬 

The last couple of years I have managed quite well, enjoying life with family and friends!  We've had 2 daughters graduate from high school and move on to their studies in university.  They make us incredibly proud of the adults they are becoming. We've watched our youngest daughter, grow up so much and she's becoming quite a special kind lady! She has a passion for reading and has read the entire Harry Potter series (twice), and now is making me watch all the movies with her (her 2nd or 3rd time) I wasn't a big HP fan but have learned more than I'll ever need to know over the last couple of months. We've done less traveling than we would have liked, but much like the rest of the world travel has had to take a back seat.  We've enjoyed playing lots of golf, a new fav pastime for my husband and I.  I played over 70 games last summer.

I've  had to resign from my job which was a very difficult move but it was necessary.  I will soon begin treatment and possibly surgery so I won't be much use in the office.  I work with my husband and we really enjoyed our work partnership. I'll miss my work family and all the lovely patients. Working in a family medicine office, many patients become a special part of your life. They'll all be missed (most of them lol ) 

Now I have to get prepared for another challenge. We will do everything we can to knock this cancer out so we can move onto bigger and better things in life.  I ask that you reach out to my family if you are a friend of theirs, they are hurting too and can always use a little love. While this is a tough road for me, I feel it's harder for them at times.  We appreciate the kindness, love and support from everyone.

 

 

Happy Cancerversary to us

Today is our two year cancerversary. It’s a strange day to celebrate, considering how much sadness and worry it brought. It’s a day that will forever be etched in memory, not only for me but for my precious husband, daughters, parents, in-laws, brothers and sister-in-laws. I remember the conversation we had with each of them that awful night.  We were headed into uncharted territory but one thing we did know was we had an amazing team along with us. When one is faced with what seems the impossible, having love and support helps you get through.

I’m abundantly thankful to still be here today and be doing very well. I know how fortunate I am to have come this far.  I’ve lost many friends to this horrible disease and I will do whatever I can to help spread awareness to others.

Today, I will celebrate being alive and well.  Thank you to all who helped me get to this point. It was not an easy road but worth every single step.

 

 

Treatment Complete

I met with my oncologist a couple of weeks ago, and after 22 months of cancer treatment I’m done. No more chemo, Avastin, constant bloodwork.

I’ve struggled with creating this post. Usually the thoughts flow easily, but for this transition I don’t have any wise words of wisdom to share. I’m happy to reach this point and I am naturally anxious of what is to come. 

I will move forward with strength and faith. I will keep building memories with my family and friends, preferably more grand adventures after covid. I will continue to raise awareness and help others. I will forever be grateful for the care I have received from my medical team in Saint John, Fredericton and Moncton! 

Thank you to everyone who has supported us along this journey. We have been so fortunate to have such an amazing circle of family and friends carrying us through the dark days. Looking forward to many bright days ahead.

Scanxiety

It’s a thing. I’ve had a variety of scans throughout life and I’ve managed through them. Having a cancer diagnosis certainly increases the chances of not great results.

The days leading up to and after scans are tough. I have researched lots of support articles to try to figure out how to manage through these days the best I can. There are several tip lists with suggestions like keep busy, meditate, exercise, talk to others etc. Which is great advice. 

While keeping busy and exercising, one still has thoughts running through their mind and I feel it's important to manage those instead of ignoring them. So here are a few thought responses I have when my scary thoughts roll in.

“I have an amazing medical team that will help me through whatever challenge I face.” – this was given to me from a dear friend and fellow ovarian cancer survivor that has helped me a lot this year.  It brings me great resolve.

“I will cross that bridge when I have more information” - Don’t get ahead of yourself.

“Worrying won’t change the results”  - If anything it’s going to make you lose sleep and feel exhausted.

“ I have a good support system in place.” – Having supportive family and friends that I know are praying for me and always there to help us out.

These really help shut down the negative thoughts and worries that may infiltrate your brain while waiting for your scan results.  I haven’t quite figured it all out yet but I’m a work in progress.

Some advice for the support system people. Knowing you are there for us when we need you, that’s the biggest support you can give.  You don’t have to come up with any fancy words or fixes. Just simply be present. A laugh or two is always a good relief.

Awareness - Shingles

 About a year ago, I was in the process of getting life back on track. Well, I wasn't even aiming for a track but basically just trying to get one foot in front of the other. I had completed my 16 weekly chemo treatments in early September, so I had plans.

I came out of the gate running so to speak. I started with a 10 km walk on Terry Fox day surrounded by many family and friends.  I eagerly signed up for the Stay Strong program at the YMCA, a wonderful fitness program now available to all cancer patients. It felt so good to be back at it. 

In mid November, our middle daughter had a weekend basketball tournament in Quebec City. Who says no to a road trip with their two teen daughters? :-)   Our oldest met up with her BFF in Bishops and we got to shop and  visit the Christmas Market in Old Quebec with some of her teammates and families. It was a lovely trip! 

The Monday after we arrived home, I took some downtime to catch up on rest. I was having some nasty eye pain but thought it might be from my ongoing sinus issues or a migraine coming on.  The next day, I booked an appointment with an optometrist as the eye pain had escalated.  They checked me out and suggested I get a new RX for glasses.  I wasn't convinced that would fix my issue, so I  saw my family physician the next day and was treated for a sinus infection.  By that evening, I was feeling worse pain, nausea, and a little red 'dot: on my forehead appeared.  My husband obviously knew as soon as he saw the spot on my forehead what was going on. Shingles, of course, why not add that to my ever growing list of diagnoses. 

I was able to get started on an antiviral medication and had to see an ophthalmologist urgently as my eye seemed to be affected. The rash worsened rapidly. I had nausea and vomiting for a couple of days and the nerve pain continued for weeks. My eye worsened and my vision became cloudy and then declined. I was followed by an ophthalmologist for months after.  It was very unpleasant. 

For others going into cancer treatment, I recommend asking your medical team about getting vaccinated for shingles. It is recommended for people over 50 to get the vaccine, since I was 44 at the time it was never mentioned or even thought about. My weakened immune system due to chemo and cancer increased my chances. I lost part of my vision and it had quite an impact on my healing process, I will be getting my shingles vaccination soon. 

Hope this can help someone

Happy October

We've had a wonderful time enjoying the beautiful weather over the last few months.  2020 hasn't been the greatest year but wow the weather has certainly been nice!! Here's hoping the winter continues to be kind.

 

The Woods are back to school! It's a little different than last year.  Our oldest is in her 2nd year of university at Concordia. She had hoped to be living in the big city of Montreal but low and behold she is doing online classes from our home, much like the rest of Canada.  Our middle is in her final year of high school, going to school one day and working from home the next. Not really sure that is going so well, but more time is needed to let the kids get in the routine of things. Our youngest is in grade 4, and has been a bit draggy about going to school, not sure if it's the age or the COVID life adding to the sudden indifference of going to school.   

 

Work has been nonstop. My husband along with all physicians are learning how to juggle managing patients' health via the phone vs in person. Luckily, we are able to see many patients in person as needed for the time being. I'm happy to be working full time, when I'm not racing myself or the kids to appointments.

 We started to golf this year, we both always liked the sport but never took the time to actually get out more than a few times a year. This year we've made it a priority (after I received much relief from a steroid shot to my shoulder) we both had a rough short season. We hope to play next year with lots of room for improvement!  We've been biking on and off and we've really enjoyed the trails in downtown Fredericton. I've joined the gym again and am looking forward to getting my strength back and losing some much unwanted weight. Thankful to have an awesome personal trainer at the cleanest, coolest gym in town STP Fitness.

I'm awaiting my next check-in with my oncologist. Scans and tests coming up. This stuff is hard but I've come up with coping mechanisms that help me manage.

 

It's come to light recently and I feel the need to explain myself.  I don't have this blog as a selfish, poor me outlook.  I started this blog as a way to keep people informed of how things are going,  to help me manage through some emotions, and to leave memories for my family. I'm not a writer, nor do I claim to be good at it. But it helps heal, it helps communicate, and I'm hopeful that it may help some others going through something similar.  

 

 Thank you to everyone who has been along this journey and supported us. You have no idea how much it means to me and my family to have your love and support along the way. 

 

Enjoy the rest of this beautiful season and stay safe! 

 

 

 

 

 

Terry Fox virtual run in September raising over $3000.

It's an honour to be a Terry Team member.

In Memory of Gram Helene

My precious Grandmother, Helene Isabelle Corey passed away a year ago today.  I thought I would write a little something in her memory to cherish.

 

Gram was widowed when she was just 46 years old with 12 children. She most certainly didn’t have a simple life. She made sure that her grandchildren were treated to the good life.

 

I cannot even imagine having 12 children and raising them, let alone having to raise most of them on my own. My husband and I struggle some days trying to manage the 3 we have. She did it, and knowing these 12 children, now adults, they would not have made it easy growing up. They all survived and managed to do quite well in life.

 

My memories of Gram begin quite early in life, she was my only living Grandmother and I spent many days and nights with her. She cooked up a mean hamburger and always had cookies and treats for us. Even as she got older it was important that she have some snacks available for the great grandkids when they’d visit.  Even if that meant sending my Dad on a mad dash to Smith’s Store to buy up their cookies and juice.

 

Growing up we’d spend a lot of our summer days with Gram. My cousins from out west would often come home for the summer and spend it at Gram’s. Gram never had a car of her own that I can remember but that never stopped her from taking us on road trips and picnics. She always found a way. Some trips that stand out in my memories are Campobello Island, Magic Mountain in Moncton, picnics throughout NB, visits to lakes for swims.  We’d stop by the roadside to pick brown-eyed Susans. Gram always loved us BIG, and made us feel loved.  I remember sleepovers where we’d go out late at night on her deck and gaze at the stars and look for UFOs J

 

As we got into our teens, we’d congregate at Gram’s with our friends and she was happy to have the house full of kids. She loved us so.

 

After I had our first daughter I remember visiting often, and she would sit and snuggle her and she would always settle her down. Gram loved babies, even after raising 12 !

 

Gram was known to have her strong political opinions. Many debates over the years and some just avoided the topic completely.  It was never a quick visit with Gram and rightfully so, she always had to update us on all the grandchildren and how everyone was doing. She was sharp, and kept track of our entire families travels etc. Not an easy task with such a large group.

 

Gram’s health allowed for her to live in her home on her own until her illness that placed her in hospital just a short time before she passed.  Even while in hospital as weak as she was she would still rally when a grandchild would come in to visit. They truly lit up her life and we all loved her so much! 

 

My last visit with Gram, days before she passed will always be cherished. She held my hand and told me I was so brave and courageous. In a time when she was at her weakest, she still was trying to help me. Of course, that’s what grandmothers do. I was blessed to have such an amazing woman as my grandmother and I will forever cherish my memories of her and do my best to be strong and loving as she taught me to be.

Love you Gram!